Classy, Sassy & A Bit Smart Assy
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Jillian. 17. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing half the time.

❝ Anonymous asked: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

jimmbbo:

perfect-melodies-filthy-wubs:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

I fuckin love tumblr stories

thespaceyadventures:

How you see yourself vs. How the world see you.

thespaceyadventures:

How you see yourself vs. How the world see you.

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

primalooze:

a piece of advice from somebody who’s been through this a few times already: if somebody gives you a bad vibe trust your gut

all american family dinner

  1. mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
  2. son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
  3. mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
  4. son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
  5. dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
  6. son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
  7. dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
  8. mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
  9. son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
  10. dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
  11. son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

hello-imaliveandwandwell:

hiroshimalated:

Please keep this circulating. Cops are getting more and more brazen, know your rights!

good to know

kadeart:

Baby Toothless with red ribbon <3

kadeart:

Baby Toothless with red ribbon <3

egberts:

snacklemore:

egberts:

my life in one picture

image

there is no picture

i have no life

isafeye:

Everyone who suffers from social anxiety needs a friend who will

  1. help them order food when it’s too scary
  2. walk with them through crowded places
  3. help them laugh it off when they make a mistake
  4. not get tired of answering “no, you’re not annoying, silly goose! You’re adorable and I love you” no matter how many times it’s needed

and if you’re that friend, bless u for being fab <3

sexxxpensive:

k-0nflict:

Lmfaoo


Done.

sexxxpensive:

k-0nflict:

Lmfaoo

Done.

eracist:

I hate when people transfer to my school and become popular no that’s bullshit I’ve been here for 12 years screw u

lolsomeone-actually:

ridinginthecarwithroman:

DAMN. Can this be any more true?


PREACH

lolsomeone-actually:

ridinginthecarwithroman:

DAMN. Can this be any more true?

PREACH

© MS